Mom

    It wasn't supposed to be like this. You died in front of me. You stood there, just breathing, on the floor, and me, just like the fool I am, I was watching. I thought you were sleeping. I wanted to believe that you were sleeping. I am stupid. I am so stupid. But there was the kiddo, too. She wasn't so worried, like me, but I knew she was afraid. I tried to entertain her. I called everyone, but everyone was busy.
    In that night, I heard the train. Yes, you always came with those trains. Now, you were leaving. Up or down? Is there really something? I'm depressed. I'm bipolar. You're disappointed. You called me crazy for crying all the time during the wrangle. You were always angry on me, because I was never good enough for your expectation. You were also listening to his lies. He made you hate me, You started regretting me.You wanted to k
    But now I'm thinking that this is the way things work. My life is getting better. My grades are better now just because of me. I still have wounds and there are still those people who want the inheritance. I don't care about it. I just want to find happiness, because I'm so tired.
    I broke a heart of glass into pieces and I'm not sorry, because I know that it's ghost is haunting me, wishing me bad luck. Then I found love where wasn't supposed to be. But I am a pistanthrophobe: I tripped and the heart fell down, in the mud. I'm looking for amber.
    Are you by my part? I want to believe that you're protecting me, but I'm already done. Haha! Look at me: I'm writing with spray on the walls. I'm talking to them. I know You're disappointed.
    I want to find peace.